Tag Archives: duh

I don’t know this is appropriate or not but whatever la ya. This is about a real nightmare after my marriage dan printilan nya yg bikin gemes.

Akhirnya I’m married. Yay! Dan next apasih yang semua pasangan mikir sehabis nikah? Yap, having a baby or babies, lot babies (pengsan)

Dan kita juga pengen itu, a little baby, our mini, our junior and we plan it as soon as possible, secara udah tuir ntah nungguin apa kalo ditunda.

And yes I never know that ‘that’ thing is fucking hurt like so much hurt. Apa iya abis itu berdarah-darah kayak film vampire? Terus darahnya bisa sampe berember ember, bisa sampe hampir pingsan, sampe keluar darah yang mengeras kayak seukuran tinju, iya? Apa iyaa? Anyone can you please answer that? (Nangis)

Jawabannya nggak dan something really wrong with that, ternyata dan ternyata he did it wrong, me neither. Payah pergi ke klinik untuk dijahit disana sini, terus harus bedrest dan gabisa jalan banyak, makan juga gak boleh banyak, karena, pup is the biggest enemy, iya mampus gila rasanya pengen nangis kalo udah pengen pup. And I shouldn’t squat. Mampus kan.

Till one day, while I was resting on the bed, husband popped out and ask why am I spacing out? Maybe I’m not ready to get married, I said. He hugged me, I cried. I’m not ready for this hurt, I’m not ready for all of this. I cried a lot nowadays, iya kayak anak umur belasan lagi swing moods, dan marah-marah gak jelas.

But he’s still there, suka gangguin pas enak-enaknya lagi ngegame, sabar dan cengar-cengir, I’m really sorry for everything ya. I need to get healing soon, physically and mentally. Pertama karena kamar udah berantakan kayak hutan dan yang kedua I need to laugh more.


Heart’s beating faster than it ever be,
Staring at my phone screen silently, bluntly…
If I read those kind of quirky words, laughing harder all I can do, but tonight is different.
I kept staring at it, hard breathing, butterflies moving, cheeks blushing.
He kept repeating those words all over again, fine…take this heart and do what you want, I’m getting tired of taking care of it, I don’t care no more, take it and do whatever you want with it…hoping no more, doubting more and more, bunuh aja adek ini lah, dasar eek kuda.
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